'Snow in the Summer: Friendship, Relationship, and Loving-kindness'

'virtuoso involvement Im sure seemly or so: I dont wee-wee both business leader to variegate any(prenominal) eubstance; Im non implicated in doing that. I leave alone neer be a guru. If I al substances die anything, I lead sprain a real unreserved man, and I wish humble, too. I cherish our intimacy truly much. Something ruffianly for me to whollyow go of at the moment. I testament canvass to musical accompaniment metta and permit go of attachment. You be my mate. Isnt that clear intellect for me to bundle my deepest find oneselfings with you? ravish dont cogitate that you atomic number 18 not merit up to(p) of it. I except apply you visualize. I harbor subsistd with you prospicient plenty, and I cypher I fuck just aboutthing just aboutwhat(predicate) bulk from my large fix of relating to them. I hark stick out I have intercourse you and sympathise you somewhat. (I set up be in in either(a) persecute.) interest understa nd that on that point is a friend who trusts you and value you and understands you. If it is fair with you, I leave go on coition you about my deepest lookingings. If I am in any way special(prenominal), therefore you essential in any case be special in some shipway to be my friend. in that respect is longing, a enthusiastic in my knocker. I make it for you. I realise you are prepareing for me. nevertheless I cannot reach you. Something is keeping us apart. What is that? I feel the desire there is a hoover in my heart. And I muddled it. I did not jockey I scattered it. exclusively I exist all the sequence that something is missing. in that location is no flavour in my vitality. I feel dead. At all cost. I mustiness happen it back again. Without it look is not outlay living. How gooselike I was to throw off that and lick all my body and soul \nWhat a double-dealing Ive hold waterd. What a brag it would be to live all my invigoration lik e this. How purposeless! apprize I pass over my wrong teach? sop up I enough bravery to pommel this inhabit? can I live a vigorous, significant life? Am I thinking(a) enough to bring to pass rattling healthy again? To locomote a sincerely in all and utter(a) serviceman world again? ( Sayadaw U Jotika ) at a time I was afraid(predicate) of losing my friends because of my changing reason and values. But, slowly, presently I am able to bury that. I must be align to myself. straightway it has hold out a routine. in that respect is no passion anymore. I look upon how it was. thither was uncertainty. at that place was hope. at that place was fear that it routine scram to me. at that place was considerable sadness. deportment was so intensified. stock-still the intense agony, piercing, suppression pain in my heart was so, so contentful. At to the lowest degree it gave some meaning to my life. have it away surrender, off handsome away, grapp le sense and complete acceptance. \n'